You see, I`ve been a performer for quite some time now. Since 2008-9 I´ve been using social networking sites, actually one, Facebook, I set up my profile as it was necessary with my participation in the London Burlesque Festival, where I debuted as an international burlesque performer.
I never really had hordes of fans. During the early years (2007-2009) what we did was not really getting out of the closed circuits of where we worked at.
2009 brought the social networking in my life.
I must reckon that between 2009 and 2012 the factor that my marriage to Kole was public, must have had a slowing effect of unsolicited male attentions.
At the end I guess this is just the downside of finally caring about my professional social networking.
So to start with, my stage persona and my actual self are just polar opposites of each other. You see a diva on stage, or a graceful acrobat, but in my real life I am one of the most simplest of creatures, beacuse of this I find it hard to deal with marketing and social networking, I do not sell myself well.
Anyways, I understand the importance of selfies and FB posts and followers, so finally I`m getting on track with all of this.
And here comes the downside, which led me to post this entry on my FB wall.
`Ok people, let me get this straight. My profile is semi-professional, hence I accept most friend request, for this very same reason I use my stage name and not my real name. I have my chat open for people who I actually have a friendship with or for people that are interested in my work and may want to work with me. As for fan mails, like `I saw you perform` `I love your work` etc, I will most likely drop a thank you back, because I am just like that.
But, please, leave me alone with lame ass messages, this is not a dating site!! The fact that I have nice pictures does not mean I am here looking for a goddamn date, so please save up your err, uhhhmm, you are kinda pretty, do I know you, whats your favorite color type of conversations, and even the actual fact, that I have met you briefly just doesn`t really give you the right to chat me up, calling me sweetheart, ect at 3 am in the morning. and at the end I am the rude one for not answering in the most cheerful of the ways to these messages??WTF???
So, to make this cheerful enough, if you are not that Dave Driskell kinda guy chances are I won`t date you. Thank you for your atteniton.`
This was due, but I really wonder what the fuck does men have in their heads?
So let`s project this upon my chosen career.
The DIVA vs. The everyday girl
Part of my DIVA work is, surprise, surprise, to be nice with people! To be educated, to smile, etc. Why?
Because most of my work is not on stage. Being on stage might be the most important part of my work, but timewise it is the smaller part of it. And like it or not, backstage manners and just the general tact with people makes you become a one-hit-wonder on the scene or a returning performer. This goes way further than just not being too hard to work with.
You need to be nice with EVERYBODY!!! Like literally, everybody!!! I am not talking about being fake, just being nice and educated.
I learned that a good attitude and a smile can open lots of doors on your way.
I´ve never been an ego-tripping diva type, actually I think I am more of a diva now, that I really earned it.
Now, I am secure, I am aware, I am confident with myself and my work, I know my limitations and I do not cover myself in shames of all kinds and shapes.
So I arrive smiling, I say Hi to the cleaning lady even, and just try to be nice most of the times. I am the performer, nobody´s interested in my private life miseries, they are not paying me for that. Nobody cares that your dog died just half an hour ago, the damn show must go on!!
Yet, as I said a million times, I am very simple outside of my work, I don´t use make-up at all, I hardly drink alcohol, I don´t smoke, I care a lot about diet, I train a lot, let just face it, I´m a pretty boring girl.
I still get the random comment of ´you wouldn´t have pink hair, if you didn´t want attention´ Well. as a matter of fact, my pink hair is part of my brand mark and is a long time statement as I see it. It does not serve the purpose of seeking attention. I have to admit, that more and more I tend to cover it up with grey hats, whenever the weather lets me, although Barcelona is a very nice place to live with extreme hair colors, very accepting and tolerant city. (unlike Budapest….)
Mr. Errhh Hiya
And now, here comes social networking in the picture, I cannot know that you, Mr. ErhhI,howareyou, are not yesterday`s stagehand or the guy who filmed my show the other day. Sure, one hopes that people that I actually work with have the social skill to present themselves, as they generally do in a FB message, yet, I cannot rule out that someone behind the `Er, Hi…` is someone I worked with recently.
Of course the experience says that `Er, hi`-ers are the random creepy ones…
The entry of the Creep
So here is an outtake:
-Hi, what can I help you with? (Moi)
-Telling me how do I know you… hehehe – (I wonder what`s funny about that..)
-Look, this is something that you should know, I have about 1500 friends on FB, since my profile is halfway professional, I accept people that I know and also people that are followers of my work.
-Well, I dunno. Where you from? – (oh great, this one wanna chat…)
-Look, I have neither the time nor the feeling to chat around with strangers, I don´t believe we have ever met, because people generally remember where and when we met (the magic of having pink hair, you see)
-Would it be hard to be more simpathic? but OK, I can just delete you and done, Good day, Sweetheart!
This conversation just hit it!!! I just got so damn pissed off!!
With all this, we get back to the good old `she was asking for it` attitude.
Really? Are men as a whole so damn simple?
Are you all bullies and creeps?
I talked to some friends and also remembered some stories of my other friends and this is not a phenomenon that would only include girls in entertainment or modelling, sadly it is all over the fucking place.
Actually, society´s fucked up concept is just striking down on the female being, once again…
And there comes my educated answer explaining that I do not engage in useless chatting with strangers over social networking sites, and BUMMMM I`m the rude bitch of the century and I could have some education!!!
The counter attack of the weirdo
I`m the rude bitch, if I don`t answer, or if I don`t answer fast enough? Or polite enough? Polite enough in your creep expectation terms, of course!!
Excusez-moi, my mind might be playing a harsh joke on me, but wasn´t it you, buddy, who just started a chat with me??? Or you just passed out by my out-of-this-world beauty and your head hit, hiya on the keyboard?? Am I, as a girl, obliged to answer with smileys and blushes and flirty shit??? Is it truly obligatory??? In what kind of a fucked up male centered world we live in? (Sure you guys are egoinsts by nature, but really???)
So you wanna date a girl…….err, like me?
Without the intention of causing the suicide of hordes of men with lack of self-esteem, why would you think you are eligible to date someone like me? Did I ever tell you so?
Do you even know who the hell I am? I am almost 100% sure, that you were not able to recognize me with a grey hat and without make-up, if seen on the street.
Do we have interests, hobbies, books(!!!) in common?
Do you have anything interesting to say? My ex is quite a writer, so you better write something breathtakingly catchy to get my attention here…Err, nope, `you got pretty blue eyes`, `your are so beutiful`, etc is just not making it! and please save all the smart Coelho quotes as well.
Piece of advice
Go the fuck out to the real world a bit!
You, see, dear Creep, in real life you would get a whole lot more of a better chance with me. I love a man with a set of balls. A man who knows what he wants, and who also does something about what he wants. So chances are, in a bar or wherever, face to face you might get that 5 minutes of my life, where you can do your grandiose entry.
Most likely soon after my creep alarm would start ringing, but the start would be a lot better.
We (dancers, showgirls, burlesquers, performers, acrobats, etc) are human as well
And still, I get offended both ways… I am not a diva type, and still I get comments that hurt me the other way around. I remember meeting my ex, and months after he told me he thought I was corky and egoist.
Because he asked me what I was doing for a living and I answered in the simplest of the contexts possible and he still thought who is this girl to go around calling herself an ‘artist’??
Until he googled my name….
Anyways, this was quite a rant, maybe I should just take my friends advice and enjoy the attention of the random online creeps… lol…