Monthly Archives: December 2014

The aerial artist and the pregnancy – part 2

First trimester

The first month as mentioned superactive, not knowing, doing it all, just noting myself not at my best from like week 5. Then the world famous 6th week kicked in and I started to be sick all over the place.
(I was still called very lucky, as I talked to friends that could not get out of bed during the first trimester)

Morning sickness?

I had it in the afternoon/evening, I think I threw up only once, but I know that was due to actively avoiding it with every natural measure.

During the two second months I could literally not train at all, maybe once, that just felt plain awful, I was spitting my lungs just with my general warm up… I was sick enough to not being able to do much, with days, that by making it to the grocery store and back felt like being a champ.

Then you read and hear loads of infos, so what I was told was to keep calm during first trimester and train more during second. (Which was just logical, as I couldn’t anyways) On the other hand I read about other aerialists, that were training up to 4th month with normality and started to back off then.

As you see, I cannot give a shiny crossfitmommy example here for first trimester. My advice is to listen to your body and the baby. Remember you have all the time after to be the iron lady, but you only have this 9 months to build the future health of a person.

Recommendations:

Listen to your body – a basic rule of life, really

Google is your enemy – apparently everything natural and healthy is deadly for pregnancy and causes miscarriage and birth defects. Why? Because there is no studies to proove the contrary… Hence it’s a deadly poison… So, no way, don’t take natural cranberry extract for your urinary infection or to prevent one, go to your doctor and get some antibiotic, your baby will be so thankful for that! (For the weaker minded, I’m being sarcastic here) Anyway, I do research a lot, what I eat, but results might stop you from wanting to eat anything…

Breakfast – solid, I used to be big on shakes before, but that would just come straight back up, so I switched to solid breakfast for pregnancy, it doesn’t need to be a full english breakfast, some toast will do. (I do cashew butter with bio jam on rice whaffels)

Ginger tea – natural, ginger in a bowl of water boiled, add cinnamon and clover and a ligh fruit tea of choice to make it enjoyable. It took my nauseas away instantly. In fact I had a little bottle of a strong broth to add to any drink, in the fridge most of the time. (Although google also says ginger is the enemy)

Forget about strick paleo – you need cookies, dry cookies, dried fruits

Pregnancy vitamins – I thought I didn’t need it, but it does make a huge difference

Energy – or however you would group these methods, I do prana nadi, but I would say yoga, meditation, reiki would all go great

Try not skipping meals – I know, I was all freaked out that I was not feeding the baby well due to my lack of appetite and nauseas, but a little is more than nothing. Oh and food in your belly helps to keep nauseas away.

Don’t overeat – this I think is an advice for the entire pregnancy, as for me, I get very sick if I overeat.

Light stretching is more than nothing – yes, do it. I got very stiff during this period, my overslipt only came back to me in the second trimester.

Hidtrate your skin – I use coconut oil and Madara’s (bio cosmetic brand) sculpturing oil to prevent stretch marks, my friend told me, any cream is good, just start using daily from day one.

Bra – I hate it, I won’t lie, I use sport tops not even bras, but I so desperately hate it! But boobs grow a size in the first trimester, the rest we will see…

I skipped taking protein powders, instead I take care even more about my diet, superfoods, quinoa, cashew butter, godji, hemp seeds, etc. I lowered my meat intake, and try to eat more rabbit and horsemeat, as those are not hormoned (if you can believe anything these days about meat)…

Also read these blogs over the topic:

http://fitmommydiaries.blogspot.com.es

Literally all you want to know about how to stay fit during and after, her workout plans really help me to shift from my general way of training to pregnant. Feels wonderful, leaves you with a decent muscle ache if you are not used to the exercises, but conforts baby.

http://www.laurawitwer.com/2013/01/31/training-when-youre-pregnant-the-1st-trimester/

Aerialist about pregnancy

http://www.aerialdancing.com/blog/?p=269

Another aerialist about pregnancy.

http://www.crossfitmom.com

As it says. Experiencing this state I would not actively recommend anyone doing crossfit (and I am a big fan and half ass doer), I did do short WODs during the first month and obviously I’m still pretty pregnant and healthy. So if you don’t get knocked out by the toilet seat on a daily basis and are not as yuyu as I am (first pregnancy, you bet) you can keep rocking it and here you have loads of infos how to.

image

Be back once I will be rolling on my belly in the third trimester.

Hashtag my burlesque ass

I stumbled upon an angryish post on facebook, complaining about people promoting themselves from someone, who herself does the very same thing.

And I got this as my post:

“I know that as a performer I suck at social media, I don’t istagram enough defenetly don’t hashtag enough and I know I should. But it is hard to see how backwards this world is and how our values are up in our asses and how we criticize publicly behaviours we ourselves do… So if followme and selfie hashtags are the way, I rather stay a back alley circus performer, known by the actual people that know me.”

So, let’s chew this up a bit.

I don’t think promoting yourself is a bad thing.

So, please hashtag the shit out of any post, I’m happy with it, I might go and ‘like’ it if it makes some sense to me. When I get bored about hashtags or the obnoxious beauty posts from one of my best friends, I rather put a funny post about it, than an angry one.

Most of us are using our pretty performer names here and do act as our public personas, I personally have mixed crap on my facebook, but I do know fellow performers, that have a completely different profile for family members, which is also supercool.

This is a business

You need bookings, you need to be around, you need the entire facebook to know, that you’re working the coolest burlesque gigs, because this gets your next booking, so go-go-go, it’s the fame game after all.

Still, don’t throw that stone to others for doing what? The same.

Being a burlesque performer is not a charity

Same point, different way to put it, we are here to make money… Well, obviously we know there is more to it, as I always say, you need some ego-trippin’ going on to want to stand in front of others in various forms of naked. This is where we, 5+ years performers, uproar against new performers forgetting that this is not a charity and not your self-esteem boosting platform.

I won’t start complaining how (insert teary eye here) hard burlesque is. Burlesque is expensive.
Hard?
Try a couple of circus classes if you want to experience hard and tell me how hard burlesque was then…

Ispiration

I like to be inspired, how about you?

I also like to see people that want to inspire others.

So, yes I ‘like’ crossfitters, pole dancers, circus artists, personal trainers and even emerging burlesque performers, because I have been there and done that.

People see a pole video nowdays, and straight on bash the shit out of the dancer for not being as good as Oona, Marion, Marlo, Jenyne, Felix. ‘Oh, she’s not that impressive?’ ‘Not that big of a deal’ Holy crap! She had the guts to stand out on a stage and compete, one thing, I either have the gutts to do, because the level is so high, seems just unreachable. And to honour her effort, we bash her down, we the public, that might have never hold a pole in our hands.

Same goes for burlesque, it is a lovely lie, that we were just this glamorous 5 years ago, as we are now, but it is not true. 5 years ago a fan dance was quite good enough with two fans and some swarovski on your panties.
Today?
You wouldn’t even get in the newcomers with that… So we critize looking down from our high horses, but should not forget, that we used a big ladder to climb up here, and worked every step of the way.

So, we should just get back to inspiration. Get inspired, and if you do, do ‘like’ it.

Selfies and followmes?

Selfies inspire me to cut off my relation with humanity if not to commit suicide.

Oh yes, I do promote my work with it, but never ever hashtag is as such.

Watch out what you post

Yes-yes, been there done that. My life was a drama from 2009 to 2012, passive-agressive, why the world hates me posts all over the place, nobody cares about that. Behave like that and you loose bookings as well.

Also, back to the first point, feel free to promote the shit out of yourself, but then don’t bash others down for it, because if I, who never actually befriended you, keep quietly receiving your shit on my facebook wall don’t say a thing either defriend you or block you, then you dear, have no right whatsoever to do so to others.

So get down to earth sometimes ladies.

Karma and choosing the right partner

I keep meeting ladies, who can’t stop yabbering about how much they don’t understand why they cannot find a ‘good man’, cuz they are ‘soo good and kind’ people and where the hell is fucking karma fixing this shit!??

Well, I learned some things spending the last 29 years in this world. So unsolicited life advice from tha Mielitta Cup of Sweetness…

Expecting and blaming karma, God, Allah, luck, our horrible childhood or who or whatever is great, but we, women choose our partners! Or at least we should!

So you obviously see, if you just fell for the dudes sticking or kinda sticking the longest to you, well, I just discovered your first problem and it did not cost you money.

I have personally been through all sorts of nightmarish relationships, drug addict, sexual abuser, passive-agressive sociopath (just like my mother, no coincidence), narcissists of all kinds, the kindest sexual sadist (no kidding), etc.

So you bet, for this array of ‘fun’ you surely need a ‘background’, BUT, talking to friends I realize, that girls with just fine backgrounds also fall in the same ditch.

So why?

Because, they get to think, that all there is…
better with ‘him’ than alone…
too old to be single at age 29…
too old to not hold up a year+ relationship at age 24…
not that pretty…
not that smart…
yadda-yadda…

I tend to say, if you want a good guy you need to clear the way! He won’t come close, if you’ve got an idiot blocking his view.

Assholes are a zillion and one out there, but the good guys, they are a lot harder to find, and many times are taken by the smarter and faster.

I get to realize how utterly important a good partner is right now, now, that I am pregnant. And I thank my bestest of luck to have found this man. I mean, now, I am with a man, 3 years my minor, but a MAN, from top to bottom, I can stay at home, I am taken care of, actually we mutually take care of each other, I do a lot more of a housewife for now, until I can start flying on aerials for a living again. (and hey, if you straight think it’s all about the money, then your values are not at place here, it’s about everything else)

So, if you ever want children, you don’t just want, you NEED a good man. Otherwise you end up having two children and I can tell you, the smaller will be the one giving you less problems.

I realized, that all the array of pseudo-males I had before were looking for a mommy they could also fuck. Well, since Mr. Csernus (hungarian psichyatrist) we know how sick is that and how those relationships end (underline this word).

A relationship doesn’t need to be a never ending soap opera, playing the 2583. episode.

So how to not waste your time and spot Mr. Wrong on the dot?

Listen to him.

First thing.

Is he making you uncomfortable or bad about yourself?

(Let’s pretend we are all driving around a healthy self esteem, so a simple compliment would not sound as an attack on our integrity)

If yes, just walk, if you can, run, otherwise he’ll catch up.

Mr. Passive-Agressive I-need-to-boost-my-selfesteem-by-bashing-you-down

So comments like ‘Sure, you’re pretty, but beauty doesn’t last, what will you have to offer once it’s gone…’
Or ‘I though you get a better education in this corner of the universe…’ ‘Oh, insert your job, is quite interesting, but there’s plenty of it, what makes you stand out?’ – Are you feeling it?
That belittling sarcasm going on, as if you are talking to an enemy, or as if on a cruel job interview. That is never a good beginning and continue is a one-way ticket to permanent psychological damage.

You think he doesn’t know? Oh he does way too well.

Calling on a girl, who had acne problems all her life over a single spot, making her feel miserable sounds like not knowing? (We are further into a relationship here)
Picking on a size XS athlete for having a cm of rather skin, than fat on her inner thighs. (Or on any size girls for any fat, she feels or not comfy with, so here you go, even us skinnies get it)

Mr. I-so-want-family-and-children

But, cannot commit/keep his dick in his pants/clean his dishes/earn his money/pay attention to anything other than play station/never moved out of mom’s, etc.

Mr. Me-moi-myself-yo-and-I

Really? Are you Russel Brand or what? I bet you believe you’re just that witty, and if so please take a microphone and make living out of it and choose another topic for date night.

Mr. All-my-exs-were-evil-bitches

So what will you be when it’s over?

Listen to the way he behaves.

That is, observe. Just lay back and observe, don’t be judgemental upfront, give him a chance, but do observe and don’t let yourself blindfolded by the picture perfect sweetness he’s telling.

So, if he’s…

Mr. Self-titled Supercaring

Engeneer or so with a high pitch job and pretty flat, no family, kids or disabled turtle to maintain, then, you bet, he can fucking pay that pineapple juice you’re taking. Why? Cuz, yes, we love it old fashioned, especially if he is obviosly looking for pussy the very same night.

Mr. Oh-my-friends-dont-care-about-me

Who never answers the phone, or doesn’t stick to his promises…

Mr. Im-such-a-great-person

Who can’t stop bragging about how he helps everyone including the starving children of Africa, but never seems to help anyone, just when you are around, not even you with the grocery…

Mr. I-want-to-take-it-easy

Already unzipping your jeans, while saying this…

Mr. I-ignore-your-intelligence-and-act-as-if-you-are-not-talking

That.

Mr. The-world-is-out-to-get-me aka Mr. Unlucky

Pity party. Non-stop.

Etc.

Listen to your insticts.

Don’t listen to your girlfriends/mother/aunt/sister pushing you in, it’s not their boyfriend to be!

Your Mom thinks, great match, cuz he’s a doctor/engeneer/rocket scientist and has money? Well, if he’s reluctant to drop a dime on dinner with you while buying his flights to Jamaica, complaining about how expensive it is to you, who is currently unemployed, may not be that much of a great match.

Something is just off, but oh he seems so decent…

Do you really want to find out what is off?

Lack of sexuality, some kind of a paraphilia, mental disorder, impotence… and all of these untreated… Imagine, pulling this guys pants down only to see some gruesome STD on the night, well, this is the same, just not with a necesserally physical problem.

Only people with the greatest need to see one, avoid psychologist or the topic of seeing one.

One of my exs told me to go and see one, around the end of our relationship, because he thought I had a sick way of sticking to him (that thing called marriage). In two sessions I got to realize how life will so continue, if I leave him, and I did, and my life continued and started to be just great like two months after the final break up.
On the other hand, he himself, would have never gone, with a past of serious childhood abuse and after hearing my results, asked me, where she studied and bashed down Hungarian universities and psychology in general… Obviously a highly educated man, willing to see outsite his own litterbox…

Here you have Mr. Wrong sorted.

‘So Mr. Right where are you???? Because I soooo deserve you, dammit. Karma you bitch you fucked me over, I’m 33 and still don’t have the guy!!!’

But Mr. Right is looking for Miss. Right. So if you, yourself, as a lady fall into the upper categories, don’t be surprised, that you are not getting any.

Also.

Miss I-need-all-the-attention-at-any-price

Having lunch with other people and a guy and out of context drops comments like ‘Oh, I love, when it hurts, because that is the only thing I can actually feel’ just won’t make you look interesting at all, rather someone with some mental issues…at age 15.

Miss Sweet-as-a-teletubby

There is a big difference being cute voiced in an established relationship, in private or in the middle of a restaurant on the second date. So save sugarcoveredcherrytoppedhoneybunny for later.

Miss I-was-but-everyone-was-against-me

I was the best dancer of the company, I was the best aerialist, I was the best climber, but the world wanted to destroy me and insert other excuses…

Ehem, so why there is no proof of any of these claims?

Miss I-am-such-an-artist

Calling yourself an artist and doing strange shit won’t make you an artist, it’s cute when you’re 5, but in your 30’s, well…

Miss I-need-to-proove-I-am-the-best-wife-material

Don’t be desperate. No need to proove anything. Be yourself. No need to bake him a cake every day, either to shine your deepthroat skill on the first night sleeping at his place.

Miss I-am-so-independent

But I constantly seek my friends to invite me, feed me, care for me, get me jobs, and in general others to do shit for me…. ehem, INdependent you are honey… because guys observe too, you know.

The aerial artist and the pregnancy – part 1.

Thoughts before and now

Well, I was never really the girl to want to have children. Obviously my career of choice is one of the least suitable for maternity and I never had the material stability to even think about this. Also, I always had partners, whom were highly inadequate to become fathers.

But, all happens for a reason and once I decided to stop dating passive-aggressive narcissitic sociopaths, I actually met a good man, a man, who from the very first moment made me feel that I would be backed up no matter what and when, he keeps reading my desires, accepts me as I am, and nevertheless, he was superkeen on becoming a father. Yet, we were still to wait a bit, a year or two. (You know just to enjoy the couple time) So getting pregnant just came to us, it just happened. Life is a gift, after all.

I never thought I was to get pregnant this easy, we were not trying, so you bet, I got pregnant right away. So conclusion and a wee advice for you ladies struggling to get pregnant. Sports and clean eating!!!!! Says the girl to you, who was always sick and never in good health, deficient in everything all the time. Healthy mommy, healthy baby. (Yes, my results are all perfect now, 0 deficiencies)

The beginning

I got pregnant in the middle of a quite demanding contract. 3 shows a night, 5 days a week. I also had a very stressful summer, which really sucked me out physically, emotionally and even moneywise, as we did not get payed for the 2/3 of the job. (Another blog post about this)
I find it kinda nice to know exatly, when the conception was, it was a big constellation of the stars those day, also being at my favorite work place of all times, the Palais Mascotte.

So this baby did two weeks more of shows with me, dropping on my belly on the hoop, doing pole dance and crossfit. Then a couple of days after arriving home I performed at another show, and surely enough trained as one should.

The simptoms

I was quite tired, but hey I performed a month it is normal, I said.
I could not wake up in the mornings, sure, I was a month going to bed around 2-4 am, I said again to myself.
My period is late, sure I was travelling, change of environment, quite normal.
My breats are hurting, period is due for sure.
I had spotting, so every time I was like, hahaa! Now! And later, umph wtf? Where. is. my. period?
Already in Switzerland I was loosing my zen temper during the last days, then home, hysterical breakours aboyt nothing significant.
Boobs hurting even more.
I went to the pole class of my friend Liza, and we did like 30 abs for warm up, and I was all class through weak as leaf. There I started to be suspicious.
Next day, Marlo Fisken workshop, same story, superweak, could not pull through a single new trick, which is unusual. Now I had the very strong hint.
Sleeping problems, blaming it on night work again.

So we bought a test. Daddy and I superexcited.

So it was 3+ weeks positive.

We were and are superhappy, even if the baby came not at the right moment. (just to repeat, I had a job, that left me knocked out in july owing me still almost 2000 euros, and I also got ripped off about 2-3000 euros by other forces of nature at the same time, so the Palais Mascotte gig was still just to half get me out of the hole), but when is the right moment? Well, exactly, the baby knows the best.

Feelings as an aerial artist in training

You see, I’m not doing this since I was 4. I know that I am still training to get stronger, better, more refined and all. So while having this inner desire of having a baby, you also have the inner desire to never have children since you want to dedicate every possible hour to your art and training.

I’m not the strong or the stretchy type, so in each lays 5 years of very hard and painful work. I can say, I take a whole longer to learn a trick, than the general. Now, yes, it seems effortless, but I still want to kill myself seeing people after their first training year doing better.

I am obviously and admittedly afraid of what is to come. I know my body and I know I am not of those girls doing crossfit all through pregnancy.

So, I cheer myself up saying, that if out of the lack of talent I had I got to built this up, I will surely be able to do it again, because I’m determined to do so, while also trying to be a supermom. Then again, I try to stay active, as much as I can.