We are soo approaching the due date!
So what can I say?
Photo by the amazing Danny Gibert!
Third trimester horrors
Everywhere you are explained how desperately hard this time should be. Expect peeing yourself, massive lower back pains, etc.
For me almost nothing about the third trimester horrors told are true.
It is only now, the last month, that I can get quite heavy in the evenings, yet it is nothing to exceptionally complain about.
I am slow walking. Very slow, that is true, groceries have never been this heavy either, but you have the faithful granny trolley to the rescue, so no problem!
Last week till due date note:
Ok, now I can only do the shopping that include little walking.
Chill and back off of training
I finally realized why circus people tell you to chill and back off.
So what do I have to proove and to whom?
That I am miss crossfit universe?
I can still rock inverts, when I really shouldn’t?
My mindset changed.
Baby and his health comes first, I will still have the rest of my life to tangle and perform and train, but my little one only has this 9 months to grow to his best health to face the outside world all alone.
So around 7 months I felt, that I should back out of aerials, I already stopped to invert at the 6th month as my little one started to not like it. (Heavy kicking afterwards)
Now I do a weekly session or two of stretching/contorsion with Dasha, so my flexibility is still in quite a shape, except for the back, of which we have no current information.
So far I feel that this is soothing the widening of my hips and easing, that strange muscle ache like sensation that comes with it.
Thank god that horrible gluten craving went away in the second half of the trimester, now I feel like radish, like radish with salt. o.O
The end of my career
From the beginning I really find it, can’t find the right words here, odd, or plain malicious, how people approached this. Questions like so are you selling your performance clothes kept creeping up… and I was like ‘NO, why would I?’.
It is really not nice to assume that a still emerging circus artist, to not say, still student (only because I am mostly self taught) would just drop her shit and leave what is her entire life as of until pregnancy.
From strangers this should really not matter, but from friends it’s kinda offensive, gives you the hint where they actually want to see you… in the gutter, ugly, run down and old, crying how having a baby ruined you… (which I think is still a way sorry excuse for anything)
I already had the judgemental bad eye from a ‘friend’, who had her flight of only a month of crossfit (already skipping classes), because I was all the way sick at the beginning… like I was obligated to not have nauseas, becuase she knew people that didn’t…
How long after will I be back?
Hell, no idea, might be 2 weeks-4 weeks-6 weeks or 6 months. Yes, I have all the time I need and zero hurries. Training as soon as I can and allowed.
Breastfeeding is important.
I hope to be able to start picking up training after 3-4 weeks or at most 6 weeks. The contorsion classes maybe earlier, so we see if we can get some benefits of that supposed relaxin, that so far only made my hips click, but nothing with my general flexibility.
Everyone has a story here, which is not necessary true…
My mom’s sob story is all about how my grandma was a horrid useless bitch, who was unable to help her and her postpartum was terrible the first time… yet she had grandpa and greatgrandma, so I wonder how that wasn’t just quite enough…
Other stories include the general she had to leave her studies and sacrafice her career, blabla. Well, that, my mom did not, she was one proud mom taking my brother to university. (Then again her stories needs to be approached with a certain caution, as the change more than the weather)
I see how I will need help, I know, but let’s just turn this around a bit.
Do I need help or do I need the lack of people asking shit from me?
The second case is the true one.
Watch your friends. I learned.
So, I had my self claimed ‘besty’ watch me in my kitchen with heavy nauseas trying to cook, comment ‘Oh, if you are really sick, you can sit down and finish the cooking later’…. erh, thanks bitch, how about getting your ass off the couch and helping?
Yet, a real friend came over to see me after work, I had lunch prepared, which she didn’t even want to accept and after it she cleaned all the dishes without a question, she did not sat down expecting her coffee to be served.
And ever since I refuse to see toxic ‘old’ friends, or even talking about toxic topics for me. I have all the time on earth, but not for that. Just say you are busy preparing baby stuff, it is a great excuse.
That for now.